Animal Doggerel

I really should have got a dog,
Instead I went and bought a hog.
It eats and eats and eats and eats
And then expects some special treats.
It oinks and grunts, it makes a mess
And rolls around in mud, no less!
But yet by far the biggest bore
Is sleeping with that porcine snore.

When you cut off a chicken’s head,
It runs around although it’s dead.
So catching it requires pluck
(And not to mention, lots of luck.)

Most elephants don’t get depressed,
They know they’re biggest and the best.
A few, though, sometimes droop their trunks
And go into big elefunks.

An owl can turn its head around
And stare its prey into the ground.
The secret to why it’s thought wise
Is found in those unblinking eyes.

The duck’s a common waterfowl,
But much, much dumber than the owl.
It doesn’t quite know what it lacks,
Just swims around all day and quacks.

The much-maligned sweet little tiny white mouse
Just loves making holes in the walls of your house.
It spends its time hiding and nibbling at cheese,
It’s ever so cute and so anxious to please.
But people are mean, and if traps aren’t enough,
They summon a kitty to gobble it up!

The lion is king, but very vain.
It constantly admires its mane.
The kingly picture has one flaw:
The lioness lays down the law.

The mule is famous for holding a grudge,
When prodded to move, it refuses to budge.
Its owners can rant and rave, shout, scream, and curse,
But all that it does is behave even worse.

The dolphin loves its play and sports,
Around the water it cavorts.
Beware of its spry playful dash
Because it loves to cause a splash!

And last but not least in the festive parade,
We have all the animals man.
Despite all the troubles and hardships they’ve faced,
They’re trying the best that they can.
While some say they’re doomed, others say to repent
For surely their world will blow up.
But pessimists miss out on one tiny fact:
They’ve started at last to grow up.

I hope you liked this doggerel,
But if you think it’s not real swell,
Don’t whine and moan, don’t gasp and groan,
But go on out and write your own!